Society makes it hard for us to do this type of “down time”. There is a constant rush to get things done. I feel it too. It creates a feeling of discontent-we need a bigger house, better car, more clothes…but why? Sometimes taking the time you need for yourself makes you better all around. You can be more patient when your two year old is whining at you or when the lady in front of you at target is writing a check…do people still do that??

Anyhow, take time for yourself. Besides it’s rainy outside anyway.

This photo of me and my boys was taken in October of last year.  Look at how tiny they were? As Funny entered his second year of preschool this September, I couldn’t help but think how fast time flies.  I just receieved the paperwork for the preschool class sign up for 2012-2013….Sunny in preschool – oh my! These two little boys are the light of my life. They make me smile and warm my heart just by a simple smile or snuggle. They challenge me in ways that no one else can and they make me a better person each and every day.  I look at this picture and want to run up to their room and snuggle up beside them in their beds. I want them to know how much I cherish them and will love them forever and ever.  I love their bond.  Sunny is always looking around for funny or wanting to play with him – it just melts my soul. I am so glad they have each other.

In one short year they have grown so much physically but developmentally too. Sunny talks up a storm and Funny asks more questions than anyone could ever answer.  I love that they have learned so much and continue to do so. I’m just so lucky to be their mom.

Since my last post, Funny turned 4 and Sunny turned 2 and my husband left his full time job to pursue his life long dream of owning his own company. He is a web developer/designer and has been under appreciated for far too long. So we figured why not now? Sure it would be easier to buy a big home and fancier cars if we were both working full time, but that would also mean that the kids would need full time care (which I now provide for free!) So our plan is to “see how this goes”.  Between the two of us, the work rarely ends.  It is a tag team of working inside and outside of the home and quite honestly it is going pretty well so far.  Although at times things can be very stressful, we are a team,  a family and we will make it work.

I’m excited for what the future will bring and I hope to get myself back here to post more regularly!!!

I have to say I have some of the very best friends out there. From the ones I have taken with me from elementary school through the ones I’ve just met this year, they are awesome! There are times when one of us is stronger and the other needs support and no matter what we are there for each other.  Myfriends make my life so full of inspiration an hope. They make me want to better myself and be true to who I am. They like me no matter what color my hair, or if I have worn my ‘new’ jeans to every playdate in the past two months..ha! These friends love my family just as much as they love me and I couldn’t ask for more. They are just plain really great, ok!

There is something different and special about each one of these women, that I need in my life and I am so proud to be a part of their lives.

So my Auntie M is pretty much the most amazing woman I can think of.  We have been close my entire life, but our relationship has changed over the years.  When I was younger she was much like a second parent in my life.  Although she was 14 years younger then my mom, she always found a way to step in and help out, however she could, whether that meant coming to my dance recitals or having me for a sleepover to make brownie sundaes, she was there when I needed her.

As I have grown older she has become like an older sister – we CHAT (and as her daughter says BABBLE) almost everyday.  She always makes time to listen to me and be a part of my life. She has taught me so much about being a parent and a woman, I simply can NOT thank her enough.  The people in her life are lucky to have her and they know that.  Just this weekend she is taking her daughter to NY for some mommy and me time – just because!   I love it when she asks for my advice on something b/c just the idea that she cares how I would handle something touches my heart.  She is the most special woman in my life and I don’t know who I’d be without her.

She is truly a guardian angel to me and I hope she knows just how grateful I am to have her.

I can see Funny struggling a little bit – I’m not sure what the stressor is….sibling rivelry? School? A developmental stage about to show itself? But either way it is causing us both a great deal of stress.  I sat him down today after a tantrum and read him the story “When Sophie Gets Angry..” and I am hoping we can find a common ground.

Is this the age or just a stage that will pass?? I know he has the biggest heart and I feel like he is reaching out to me to help him through something, I’m just not sure what it is.  Any advice?

Funny is such a great kid, I mean I know he’s mine, but he is really something special.  He is going to be 4 in a few months, which I can hardly believe.  He is such a smart cookie that I often forget how young he is and I treat him as if he is an adult.  When days are hectic and crazy it is hard to take the time to let the kids know how much you love them, that is why I love nap time so much.  In addition to a few minutes of peace for myself to regroup and relax, it is a time I can reflect on just how wonderful these two little boys are.

When I see my two boys together, whether playing or not, I get such a feeling of pride and excitement knowing they will have each other for the rest of their lives.  They will be able to have late night chats with one another and discuss how wonderful their mother is (haha ok wishful thinking on my part!) But they will forever have a friend by their side and I am so grateful for that. Being an only child myself I never realized all the fun to be had with a sibling. Who knew bath time could be fun time?!

They are such good buddies (they tell each other so) and I just wanted to toot their little horns..TOOOT TOOT! They are the loves of my life, alongside their daddy Hunny of course, but they are just so amazing and I feel blessed to be their mom.

Tuesday morning after I drop Funny off at Preschool, Sunny and I go visit a few friends at my old work.  On our way home, he starts to fuss and I know something is up..and it was UP all over the place!  Poor kid, so as I continued to drive home as fast as I could, I was reaching back and holding his tiny hand to reassure him, it would be alright.  Sick kids..well at least my sick kids, like to be with their mom.  Not just near me or around me but physically stuck to my body.  When I need to make dinner, go to the bathroom and even when they continue to get sick.  So after about 6 outfit changes for both of us (and my husband too), I get him settled to bed and thankfully he got some sleep and on the mend.  Now the “real” mom in me has to finish the 18 loads of laundry and cleaning of the car seat…Blah!!

More real stuff…thank goodness you are reading this and NOT smelling this. (For any of my vegetarian friends, feel free to laugh at me out loud since this will not happen to you!) So Sunny and I head off to the grocery store after dropping Funny off and we are doing just wonderfully until we get to the meat department.  I pick up a package of something that I realize is wet and when I put it down and smell my hand I am praying it was just water…no such luck.  It was some flavored meat grossness that has now permeated my hands and is on my new jacket…ewwwwwww!  Do you think I have wipes or anything with me to fix this problem? No!  I see Sunny is growing restless with the plum he is eating, which is also making a huge sticky mess on him and then he decides to hand it to me and spit out what is left in his mouth….ahhh I’m real cute now!  So I continue through the store, get to the register, where the nice girl gives us some paper towels, since she can tell I am really grossed out.

We make our way home, but on the way I realize that some of Sunny’s mess from Tuesday (ick) made its way to the rug in the car-ugh-guess it’s time for a car detail! And my little muffin has fallen asleep on the way.  So here I type in my car, while it runs so he can rest.  Yes I emptied all the groceries and put them away and he is still asleep, after the week he has had I don’t dare move him and risk him waking.  So I enjoy the peace and quiet and by the time he wakes I will back enroute to pick up Funny.

This is real folks…or maybe just my reality!  But let me tell you, when your kids get sick, there is nothing in the world that heals them then the love from their mother.  And I’m so lucky to be one.

You’ve heard it said, “it takes a village to raise a baby”, but do you find that to be true?  My husband and I live about 30 minutes from our closest family and often times we will whine about not having enough support close by.  However, we are completely neurotic and when it comes to finding the right “help” we have a really hard time.  We don’t have a huge family, which is usually who you’d lean on to support you.  You know…”Mom can you watch the kids on Friday night, so Hunny and I can get dinner and a movie?”  It sounds so simple, but it isn’t always.  The best and most trustworthy support group I have found is Other Moms!

It makes sense right?  They too are in the trenches with you and know what its like to take a 30 second shower, while peeking out the curtain to watch your youngest putting dinos in the toilet – right?? Ok well maybe not exactly, but I have found that moms talk and help one another as much as they can.  ”Hey I’ll watch little Susie while you go to the grocery store…phew! Oh and hey maybe you can watch tiny Tom while I go to the gym later?”  It’s an amazing network.

When you have a small community of family (or maybe even none at all, depending on where you live) it is important to build a community.  It is hard to always rely on your spouse and if you do that you rarely get time together, which is critical to a healthy marriage (thats another post for another day).

Last year I joined the Mom’s Club in my town.  I was hesitant because I didn’t know what time of commitment it would entail, but it has turned out to be such a wonderful resource for the kids and even more so for me! I have made great friends and the kids have playgroups each week, where they get to play with all kinds of new friends. My advice is not to be afraid to reach out and talk to other moms, even if it is in the line at the supermarket – you’ve got to start somewhere!

It is important to allow yourself to feel things in the moment. For the most part, I don’t feel any particular significance to the day my mom passed, it is more on days like her birthday or when I see a grandmother holding her grandchild that I feel the pain in my chest.  There are things in life that are hard and that makes us who we are.  Every journey throughout my life has molded me into the woman, wife and mother I am today – and I am happy with who I am.

This past weekend I celebrated my 31st birthday with my family. We didn’t do anything outstanding but it infact couldn’t have been better, it was all about quality time.  I think my mom would like who I am today and she would be proud of the decisions I have made.